Police Rescue Naked Man after he Falls Off a Cliff while Masterbating
When Oregon City Police first spotted 31-year-old Ernest Michael Kirk, he was sitting on a cliff over the Willamette River, masturbating. Officers tried to talk with Kirk, but he appeared to be under the influence of drugs and, well, he wouldn’t stop jerking off.
Between the self-love session and the drug haze, Kirk managed to fall off the cliff and into the Willamette River. (We could have called that.) That’s when officers requested help from the Clackamas County Sheriff’s Office Marine Unit, who sent a boat to the scene. They found Kirk drifting in the river, naked and now unconscious. They rescued him from the water and took him to an area hospital for evaluation.
According to local police, Kirk is a known transient. The flute soloist was booked Monday on charges of felony public indecency, harassment and a parole violation.